Thursday, January 20, 2011


I don't have much time, as this morning is my morning to go so Superhero's classroom and help out.

Last night, during a conversation with an old friend, she said that I was one of the strongest people she knew.

I don't agree with that.

It's like when people would ask how I could hold it together while my husband was deployed. Um, well, you just do it. You don't have another choice. At least I've never seen another choice. I can't spend days laying in bed, or watching movies because I feel sad. I have to keep going.

That is how I feel now.

I am physically tired because of this new thing in my life. Maybe I'm emotionally tired too, because I've been having a hard time feeling anything. We all process things differently, and I am trying not to have expectations on myself on how I should be feeling. Which is hard for me, as I have gone through this before, and I keep comparing how I am feeling at this point to how I was feeling at this same point from the time before. And I need to stop. It really isn't going to help me.

The best thing for me right now is to just keep moving. Do the things I had on my schedule before everything came tumbling down.

This morning I was thinking about what this is supposed to be teaching me, what am I supposed to be learning?? I guess it's too soon to tell.

I feel better after typing all this out. Better than sitting for an hour in a classroom with all these things bouncing around in my head, and no place to get them out.

And now back to our regular morning......


  1. I wish I could do something for you to take whatever 'it' is away...

    Hang in there! You'll be in my prayers!

  2. You are an incredibly strong person and being that way, living your life that way, IS a choice. I know in your head it seems like there is no other option than to keep moving forward. But it's really a choice. Those who are of softer convictions might choose to bench themselves and just stop moving. I'm proud that you're choosing to face the world and keep up with life's forward motion. Sometimes a few timeouts are necessary, but we have to make sure for ourselves and for our families, that we make sure to check back in. Keep on keeping on, T. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's just like what Eleanor Roosevelt said: "A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."