Resolutions

I know that the majority of the blogging world is probably posting all about their resolutions for the new year, or reviewing the last year, or something along those lines.

What I have to say is somewhat along those same lines, but not quite.

For the last few years, I have gotten many 'new starts'. We have moved frequently, and I've almost come to look forward to the moving because of that. I get to go somewhere that no one (usually) knows me. They don't know my parents or my grandparents. And I get a chance to change a part of me that needs changing, to reevaluate what my goals are for this next step in my life, and how much effort I'm willing to put out. Because, I'll tell you, when you're only going to be somewhere for a year or less, you need to use your energy and time wisely.

We have lived in our current location for a little over a year and a half. And I miss moving. It is sort of a selfish thing. I don't get that chance to start over. To leave all my mistakes behind me in the old place, and get to start again in a new one. While moving is a HUGE hassle (we've been married 9 1/2 years, and we've moved 9 times) I had started to look forward to it. Who am I kidding, I'm STILL looking forward to it, it just isn't going to be as soon as the other moves.

So, this year, rather than make specific goals, I'm going to choose a mantra to keep with me as I go throughout the year, and hopefully it sticks and I hold onto it for the rest of my life. It is this: Let it go. I allow myself to get worked up and angry/irritated/frustrated about so many things that don't really matter, nor can I change any of them!! Then I say things I shouldn't. And I hate it. I have had such a hard time letting go for most of my life that I say it's time that I let all of that go. If something starts to bother me, well, I just need to let it go. I need to be wise in what I allow bother me. If it regards any member of my little family, then, I might need to keep it and see what I can do. If it has to do with anyone or anything else, well, it will just be let go.

One big GIANT huge thing that I need to let go of is my husbands father. While my feelings regarding him have progressed (I no longer feel angry, most of the time, at him), I really need to just let it go. While I still feel as if the other shoe has yet to drop, I will probably deal with it better if I could let go of the past two years, and look forward to a year without him. And just let it go. There are some other, smaller, things that I need to let go of. And if I can do this big thing, I KNOW I can do these small ones.

Here's to letting it all go......