Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This is my life

This is my life my friends. The laundry hamper that can't seem to make it to it's home on top of the dryer. The lego container sitting in the middle of the floor. Wii accessories helter skelter, with the drawer where they belong still open. Pillows all in a pile on the couch rather than in their artistically strategic places. A folder that should be in a backpack ready for tomorrow. The ottoman covered in a bunch of stuff.

I could go crazy and make every one's life miserable by having them put it all away right when it's bedtime. But I decided a long time ago that my home would never be a museum. We LIVE here.

So, when you come to my house, remember that we LIVE here. Which means crumbs, shoes, balled up socks, and headbands strewn about. Perhaps someday, when my children are gone, I'll have one of those houses. You know, those spotless, immaculate, beautifully decorated, sweet smelling, vacuum lines still on the carpet, houses. But I'm good with this. Besides, true happiness isn't a perfect home. It's this regular old life stuff.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Did you know October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month?

I always seem to forget.

Ever since two years ago, October has been a very cloudy month for me. It would be lovely to just be knocked out for the entire thing. But as that is not reality, I just trudge along until November.

At least we're halfway through.

Friday, October 15, 2010

My toe

I think my toenail is going to fall off.

I know, why am I talking about this on my blog? Well, because the other things I want to blog about I won't be very nice or kind, and I could get carried away. So, I'm left with my toenail. And how it feels weird and that I'm pretty sure it will fall off soon.

It started the day I did Challenge Nation. It's an urban scavenger hunt, and you usually do it in teams. I wore shoes that from the first day I wore them have never ever hurt my feet. But yet that day, when I walked miles and miles (mostly because the bus schedules were way off, and we kept missing the buses that we needed), it had to do something to my left big toe.

What are the positives? Well, at least it's fall/winter time here already. And even though I wear them until I just can't anymore because it is way too cold, there isn't too much time left for me to wear my beloved flip flops. So, other than maybe wearing open toed shoes on Sunday's to church, no one will see my big toe.

I'll keep you updated. But I promise no pictures. Feet are just ugly. I'll save my thoughts on feet for another day. Cause I need to go to sleep at some point.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I want

My friend Emily did an 'I want' list. And she invited people to copy her and do their own.
Here is mine:

real Mexican food
to live where the sun shines almost every day
to stop eating late
To be organized
home made cookies every day
my right ear to pop
to live in France
to let it all go
a few new friends
my potted herbs to last the winter
Superhero to have more long sleeved shirts

There is my list. Do you have one?

Monday, October 11, 2010

My food quandry

I have really loved having my husband home. Although having him gone for a year, then having 45 days off was a little too big of a switch, it has mostly been really good. I was worried about the reintegration of him and us, but it has been much smoother than I thought it would be.

But let me tell you what has been the hardest.

Making dinner.

When you have two small kids to cook for, macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, quesedillia's, and pretty much anything having to do with cheese is a good go-to. It wasn't like that every night, and we did eat lots of vegetables. But now that my husband is home, those things don't work anymore. Well, just not as much. We go through more food. My husband has changed his diet since he left, and won't eat certain foods anymore. Sigh. Which is frustrating, because I LOVE baked potatoes. LOVE. And he doesn't eat them much these days. He also doesn't eat much that has sugar in it. And doesn't eat a lot of bread. And no pasta.

That pretty much minimizes my options.

Sometimes I say 'screw it' and make what I want to make and he will just deal with it. Most of the time, I do my best to make things that all of us can eat. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. We've had a lot of salads. Lots of fish, baked sweet potatoes, green beans, broccoli, and recently, we tried brussel sprouts again.

I'm working on it. I try to keep things that we all like stocked up. Tonight I made chicken vegetable soup. And I'm sure he didn't eat most of the potatoes in his bowl. But that is fine with me.

For the first time, I just might have to start planning my meals a week at a time. I'll let you know how it goes. (and if you have some good idea's, please leave me a comment. i need help!)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

My voice

I want to blog.

I like it. I like sitting down, and letting my fingers fly over my keyboard.

But lately, when I sit down, my fingers do not fly.

And I think I've figured it out.

I'm trying to write in a way that is not me. A voice that is someone else.

From here on out, this blog will be in MY voice. Not a voice that I think I should be.

What are my thoughts today? I will tell you. I worry about my husbands' emotional state because his dad keeps screwing around with him. I worry about why Superhero is struggling behaving at school. I worry that I'm too open with my opinions. I miss the sun. I really like my cute planner (that for once I'm actually using) that I got from B&N not too long ago.

And now I'm worried that if I don't get to bed right now, I won't wake up in time in the morning so my husband and I can make it to the temple. Off to bed I go!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Middle of the night thoughts

Here is what has been on my mind recently:

~Christmas cards. If I don't start thinking and planning and doing now, they don't get done. And it's one of the few crafty things I actually do. So while I am behind (I usually start in August because I'm that slow) I've made my choices, and things are slowly coming together.

~A good friend deploying. She and I were family when we both lived in Germany. Thanksgiving, Christmas, babies being born, cars borrowed, kids babysat, dinners shared, day trips to France....I could keep going. She has been in the area for the last month or so while she did training. Her kids are with her parents. I called her mom this morning to let her know some boxes she (my friend) had asked me to mail were on their way. We had a good chat, and had a cry together. Back when I first found out this friend was going, I sat and stared at my computer screen (she had sent me an email) and tears just ran down my face. I was on my period at the time, so I was already in that emotional place. Anyway, she is in my thoughts.

~A friend had her twins last week. A pretty good friend. And me, doing my best to be supportive even though I would rather not have anything to do with babies, went over last week to bring her these absolutely darling matching dresses for her girls(which, by the way, were not pink). I brought over diapers and a few other things. I did not go with the intent of holding either of them. But as my friend delivered one naturally, and then the other via c-section (Yeah, can you even freaking imagine???? I pushed for four hours, then had an emergency c-section and that recovery was so hard. I just have no words for this doctor.....anyway........) getting up and down was not easy. I brought one of the girls to her so she could feed her. It was a slightly rough day for me. But, I'm ok. My husband and I have had some good discussions about babies, and our lack of one. But I gotta just let it go. It doesn't do me any good to keep harping on it.

~I have wanted to be better at posting on here. Not just for my readers. But because I have so much rolling around in my head all the time. And since Mario Lopez at this time of night is starting to grate on my nerves, I am out of here. Night.