Sunday, May 29, 2011


In every setting where there are females, there is always a flock. At the work place, at church, at school booster and PTA meetings, in the neighborhoods. There is always a flock. And there is always a leader of this flock. Sometimes there are a few that take turns, or a group of them that every one follows.

Have you ever found yourself a part of that group without even realizing it? I have, and some times I hate it. I don't like it. There are many positive things these groups can do, and will do. But most of the time I just feel like a lemming jumping off the cliff because the ones in charge tell us to.

I don't want to have my own flock though. That isn't the goal here. I want to be me. Free to do what I want, with who ever I want. I don't want half the table at a 'girls lunch' to gang up on me, or my friend because the one in charge says something and every one else has to chime in with how that person is wrong. I want to be able to have people have their own opinions.

This whole phenomenon is why I love moving so much. While I may encounter the same thing at our next home, I feel like I'm better prepared to deal with it, because I try to take something I've learned with me every time I leave.

In our current location, sometimes I feel like there are a few people 'in charge'. I even spoke to someone that said 'the congregation will fall apart with out Hepzibah'. (of course hepzibah is not her real name. have you ever met one??) I thought REALLY??? Oh man.

I'm looking forward to moving. I look forward to others moving. I look forward to the change in dynamics that will inevitably come. I find it fascinating that until I left for my mission in France, I had only moved 3 times. That was all I knew. Since I've been home and married (it's been almost ten years) I've moved 9 times. And we're about to make it 10. And admittedly, while part of my excitement to move is to get away from this bloody rainy weather, another large part of that is to get a new chance at change. I love how I can leave that old me behind me and try again with new friends to be better this time around. To get away from this flock of women that scuttle around our church, knowing everything (you can't disagree with them) and trying to tell me how to think or feel or that I'm going to take their place when they leave....heaven help me.

This post was for Sunday Scribblings.

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